Careful of those unconscious 'commands'

"I know you're tired after a long day today..."

"We'll do this activity so it might feel like you're a kid back at school doing a test..."

"I'm sorry if it feels like all of the speakers are droning on about this..."

"You probably don't want to hear what I'm going to say next but ..."

These are four real-life statements, made by team leaders, speakers, executives over the past few weeks ... people who should "know better".

But often we don't know! We're blissfully (or dangerously) unaware of the words that leak out from our mouths from our minds and the power those words have on a team, an environment, a presentation, a project.

I noted these four statements when I heard them and they all have a dangerous power to have the audience agreeing with you, under their breath, in their mind, or muttering to someone else.

Let's run them again:

"I know you're tired after a long day today..."

<Yeah, so get off the stage and let me go and have a beer!>

"We'll do this activity so it might feel like you're a kid back at school doing a test..."

<So stop it! I don't need to do kids stuff. Let's do things that will actually create an outcome for this project!>

"I'm sorry if it feels like all of the speakers are droning on about this..."

<OK, so you're going to waffle too? Yes you've all been droning ALL day!>

"You probably don't want to hear what I'm going to say next but ..."

<You're right mate. I'm not gonna listen. Instead I'll think about ....>

Be super careful about your 'banter' before you deliver important messages. This 'leakage' of uncertainty, apology or low levels of confidence can be turned around. 

Instead, positively frame up what you're saying. 

There's no need to use any of these waffle statements. Just deliver your content, your point, your story, your case study. And move on. 

Set up the environment, the context and the team for a positive interaction, a creative environment with a strong 'why we're doing this', or 'why I'm here presenting this' or 'why this change is happening'. 

They're the 'commands' you want people to buy in to and adopt. 

That's a smoother path to change. 

Less stuff, more happiness

Graham Hill is a designer and his TED Talk on having less stuff and more happiness is a quick and inspiring watch at just five minutes.  

As he spoke, I sketched some visual notes… and distilled his key points to a less than 90 seconds sketch video. You can watch the video by clicking on the image below...

So that's a five minute talk, distilled to a one pager of visuals, and to a 90 second video. 

Distil, distil, distil.

Too many leaders waffle on, give the l-o-n-g story every time they speak, send a lengthy bullet-pointed blah-blah email or share a thick PowerPoint pack of 'stuff'. Oh yawn!

You might be in love with it but you're fighting for attention from the people you're trying to engage with. 

Keep your teams happier and help them get to meaning quicker by delivering short messages and clear compelling, 'made-by-a-human' visuals.

Be sure your communication has less stuff… and you and your teams will have more happiness!

How to engage people in change & transformation

How to engage people in change & transformation from Lynne Cazaly on Vimeo.

When change is on the agenda - and it so often is in today's workplaces - be sure you've got engaging tools to help people buy into the change and transformation that's coming. 

Avoid ambiguity and complication. Hey, you might love working down in the detail because you're involved in the piece of work, but that doesn't mean others across the organisation are that 'into' you or the change!

Check out this week's sketch video to move beyond a 'pack' of information!

Which way are you going?

When I first got my drivers license I remember driving down a local South Melbourne street, York Street, the wrong way! There were a couple of oncoming cars but we were all moving slowly so I think I got away with it.

Plus, the car I was driving was my aunt's and it had interstate number plates on it! "Oh, ok, she's not from around here!"

I've always remembered the intersection to that street and when I drive past it now, I'm so very conscious of how it's 'one way'. It looks and sounds different to the whizzing traffic that flows both ways along a road or motorway. 

Earlier this week in a client workshop, I remembered that one way street incident.

I was listening to a leader communicate their key messages about a change program and how the leaders and team members would have to do this, that, the other ... and oh, this other thing over here. 

It was all so 'one way'. 

Contrast that to another leader who I heard from yesterday. She opened the topic up for conversation. She wanted to hear what people thought about what they'd already heard about the change. This was before her 'sermon' on what was to be. 

By allowing a 'two way street', she was able to hear their key concerns and then pitch her information to address those concerns. 

It all flowed so well. They talked some… then she responded… then they asked some questions… and she engaged further. Yes it was the two way street of communication! So simple, but sometimes so tricky to bring to the situation you're in, particularly if it's a tough or tricky conversation.

She later told me her heart was thumping in anticipation because she didn't know what they'd say or what their questions or concerns might be. She had some ideas, but was really heading into some unknown territory. 

Oh yes… uncertainty! It does wonders for our defences! It brings them on in a flurry.

So rather than head down that one way street like I did, I encourage you to travel the two way street of communication... slowly. A little from them… then over to you… then back to them. It's the push and pull of communication, engagement and facilitation.

Every conversation, meeting, workshop or session you're in can benefit from it. Not to mention the other 'drivers' in that meeting. 

Take it slow, proceed with caution and keep things moving two ways. It's too dangerous otherwise.

And now a word from our family: Our Yuletide Yarn

It’s Christmas time and the Christmas letters are well and truly here…

Dear all

Well can you believe another year <insert sentence about how time has flown by>

We can’t believe we’re doing one of these group letters <insert guilty statement about how busy you've been and don’t have time to catch up anymore but want to share the news> 

<Start year in review now>

The year started off with a bang when we reaffirmed our marriage vows on the Spirit of Tasmania at midnight on the way over to visit Jeremy’s brother Donald in Launceston. Thank god we took a double dose of Quells because combined with the grog, we didn’t feel a thing!

Jeremy is over his bout of ‘not-wanting-to-go-to-work’ and now it’s my turn to put my feet up for awhile this year. I might take up golf in earnest this time.

Jemima is doing so well; she’s passed fourth grade and is such a social butterfly, bursting with creativity and energy. She’s a darling and Jeremy and I are taking it in turns at obedience school with her so she ‘get’s it’ with both of us when we’re out walking with her on the leash.

As for Max, well he seems to just skulk around most days. He’s fit and well and not off his food, but I swear if he scratches at the new curtains in the guest room again I’ll scream.

<Insert personal anecdotes here about travel, hobbies, gardening, trips to a local popular holiday destination, then another holiday destination a bit further away, caravanning, camping, sailing, fishing, trailbike riding, dressage… you know>

<Close now with a big finish>

We wish you all a great 2014 and hope that we will have the time to catch up this coming year.

<Insert another guilty statement about not letting the year get away from you this time>

Much love from your dear friends Deborah, Jeremy, Jemima (dog), Max (cat) xxxx

PS: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

We may love them or hate them, but we’re increasingly relying on them to know what the heck has been going on this past, fast year!

It’s the generic and totally un-customised page (or four) of correspondence from dear friends.

I’m already pondering again as I do most years about why we do this, to create our very own newsletter.

Firstly, we can! Our computer, colour printer and digital camera all make publishing a breeze. There are Christmas and family blogs and websites all over the internet, so it’s a fun and creative exercise to come up with a natty title (The Young’s Yuletide Yarn, or Collins’ Christmas Communique) include photos of the year in review, press print and mail or email.

The authors circulate these letters to those who are within the circle, and I suspect, a great number who are teetering on the edge of the circle; those people we haven’t seen as much as we would have liked. Perhaps it’s because of distance, geography, living in another country, or simply moving in a different circle these days.

The ‘hope to catch you soon’ or ‘we must have you over for dinner’ statements come and go throughout the year. Each of our lives becoming increasingly complex and mathematically stretched as families grow up, separate, rejoin, conjoin or just hang out with different people.  Maybe we’re not in that inner circle of friends who get to share each other’s more regular developments during the year.

Is there some feeling of loss that the close friendship that once was, is not the same anymore? Or the things we had in common have changed? The relationships change as we change.

Reading about their year’s happenings keeps me in the loop another year longer. I now know names of children and grandchildren and I get to see photos of family milestones.

Or is it catharsis? Yes, release that emotion and reflect on that year. The year flew by didn’t it? The years are going faster aren’t they? We might barely recall what happened among the chaos of life, but we know something did.

The newsletter helps recall it, topic-by-topic, child-by-child, holiday-by-holiday, month-by-month, in one colourful publication with tiny colour digital photos. I can see myself in one of the photos! I was there to share in their year. Smile.

There is always true newsy-news to share; international travel, postings to community organisations, illness and health, births, deaths, marriages, loves found and lost, and achievements relating to golf, bowls, netball, investment properties, wine, gardening.

Is it a trend? Am I nearing the age when Christmas letters are de rigueur? Should I start this year?

Last year I was the proud recipient of seven pieces of Christmas-circular coloured-paper correspondence. The most ever. I sat on the couch with a glass of red, and I read.

I hereby publish my first draft. If you’re new to Christmas letters, you might like to copy, paste and edit. Then press ‘print’ or ‘send’.