Careful of those unconscious 'commands'

"I know you're tired after a long day today..."

"We'll do this activity so it might feel like you're a kid back at school doing a test..."

"I'm sorry if it feels like all of the speakers are droning on about this..."

"You probably don't want to hear what I'm going to say next but ..."

These are four real-life statements, made by team leaders, speakers, executives over the past few weeks ... people who should "know better".

But often we don't know! We're blissfully (or dangerously) unaware of the words that leak out from our mouths from our minds and the power those words have on a team, an environment, a presentation, a project.

I noted these four statements when I heard them and they all have a dangerous power to have the audience agreeing with you, under their breath, in their mind, or muttering to someone else.

Let's run them again:

"I know you're tired after a long day today..."

<Yeah, so get off the stage and let me go and have a beer!>

"We'll do this activity so it might feel like you're a kid back at school doing a test..."

<So stop it! I don't need to do kids stuff. Let's do things that will actually create an outcome for this project!>

"I'm sorry if it feels like all of the speakers are droning on about this..."

<OK, so you're going to waffle too? Yes you've all been droning ALL day!>

"You probably don't want to hear what I'm going to say next but ..."

<You're right mate. I'm not gonna listen. Instead I'll think about ....>

Be super careful about your 'banter' before you deliver important messages. This 'leakage' of uncertainty, apology or low levels of confidence can be turned around. 

Instead, positively frame up what you're saying. 

There's no need to use any of these waffle statements. Just deliver your content, your point, your story, your case study. And move on. 

Set up the environment, the context and the team for a positive interaction, a creative environment with a strong 'why we're doing this', or 'why I'm here presenting this' or 'why this change is happening'. 

They're the 'commands' you want people to buy in to and adopt. 

That's a smoother path to change.