Better ways of being

As teams come together online more often, there are ways to ‘be’ that help make things easier. 

Whether your online meeting or gathering has just one other person, or there are four, seven or 12 of you...

Watch out for these old, dated behaviours:

Interrupter
Hogger
Judger
Dismisser 
Player
Disruptor 
Distractor
Minimizer
Deflector
... oooh it’s not good is it 
Hider
Denier
Accuser


When times are challenging, stress is high or uncertainty is present, it can be easy to fall back into a ‘survival default’ of sorts where there is pointing and blaming or hiding and ignoring for survival. 

Newer and better ways of being include doing things to support the group (and not always speeding to a solution or decision.)

We all contribute to an environment and a conversation that’s safer and more collaborative. 

If I’m challenged and find it hard to bring the ‘better me’, then I look to these roles. They’re helpful anyway, and keep us in a more resourceful state:

Synthesiser
Integrater
Summarizer
Slicer 
Supporter
Enquirer 
Listener 
Reflector
Participator
Contributor 
Validator 
Elevator.


Think: 
Am I making things easier or harder?
Am I trying to make myself feel better about something here?
Is this going to be helpful?

You can facilitate yourself

A facilitator doesn’t just have to work with a group or team. 

They can work with themselves. 

We can all adopt some facilitation skills to facilitate ourselves. That is, to make things easier for ourselves. Facilitation means ‘ease’.

The ‘get out of your own way’ concept is often about how we make things harder for ourselves. We set higher standards, expect perfection, berate ourselves when we mess up and at other times, don’t do anything at all ... procrastinating for fear of not getting it right. 

Are you setting unreasonable standards? Unachievable deadlines? Or holding unspoken expectations?

None of this makes things easier. It makes it all harder. 

Making things easier for ourselves is a good thing - even though we may secretly believe you have to struggle for everything. 

But that’s an old point of view. It’s not true. 

Starting now ...
How can you make things easier for yourself ... and on yourself? 

Too smart for ourselves

We are such clever beasts! 

We solve complex problems, generate ingenious solutions and juggle multiple roles to make our own world work. 

Yet I think we are also SO smart, that we can occasionally sometimes maybe ... over-complicate things. I know I can!

If something appears too straightforward or plain and simple, it couldn’t possibly work well ... could it? 

Isn’t anything worth doing supposed to be a struggle? 

As a mentor, I get to work with, guide and advise many talented people building and growing their own business or practice. 

When we’re all faced with a challenge or conundrum, often there is a simpler solution that we’ve considered, and then ignored or dismissed. 

In times like these, we’re experiencing plenty of overwhelm: both task overwhelm and emotional overwhelm. 

So choosing an easier path consumes less of our energy and effort ... and it’s less likely to add to the overwhelm. 

Conserve energy for the tougher stuff of life. There’s no need to make solutions, decisions and actions even more complicated. 

Choose the easier path. 
Burnout is no prize. 
Take good care. 

Ease is an accelerator

How easy do you make things? 
And what do they need you to make easier?

The weekly status meeting is often a summary of “here’s what going on”.  

Rather than going around the table - or the screen - hearing an update about what’s going on, why not find out what they need made easier? 

Leaders who take on the role of a facilitator - today’s leaders of ease - are focused on making things easier for their team. 

That means helping to identify and remove barriers, blocks and obstacles. 

Get to it! Find out where the sticking points are and help free them up. Release the build up, move the blockage out of there and make things easier. 

This is some of the best work a leader can do. It can be one of the most impactful, supportive and memorable things about a leader. 

It reduces friction and frustration and allows the team to build up momentum, speed and flow. 

Go now ... go make something easier. 

Making it worse / making it better

As more of our days are spent in online meetings, many of our bad meeting behaviours haven’t changed: they’ve transferred online... and likely gotten worse.

Meeting tips and advice often focus on the agenda: have an agenda and send it out before the meeting.

But the agenda is only the ‘what’ to be done. And the agenda is not usually the problem with bad meetings. It’s about the process.

Most meetings follow dull default processes:

- One person talks. Another talks. We vote

- Two people talk and assume everyone agrees

- One person talks. Everyone agrees so we can finish.

The problems are many: low engagement/buy in, less contribution, participation and performance, more invisibility, boredom, distraction, exclusion. If the agenda is the what, the process... is the ‘how’.

Meetings are made better when you improve the process of how you run the meeting. A better process that is run by the leader of the meeting.

To facilitate better meetings is a skill. And to facilitate better meetings online, another skill.

Progress, outcomes and people suffer because bad meetings are made worse when we flip them as-is to online. Better meeting experiences are possible.