Referrals and Degrees of Separation
Tuesday, February 28, 2012 at 8:37PM You know the now shrinking 'six degrees of separation' where you're only a few connections away from everyone on earth? How that applies to referrals and recommendations can be an interesting experience.
Recently a colleague referred me to a colleague who referred me to another colleague. Thanks to my colleague's recommendation, I started out on the conversation journey with the next two layers of colleagues!
The odds that this referral or transference of trust was going to work was lower than if
a. my colleague had worked directly with me on more than just a project or two ie; if we had a longer, deeper relationship
b. there were only one or two degrees of separation between me and the prospect - rather than this three or four levels.
The further removed the referral, the more weakened the trust, the more likely it's not going to be a match. A match on values, philosophy, ways of working...
For sure, connections and meeting up with people out of the blue can create some of the most wonderful and serendipitous relationships - business or otherwise.
But as Robyn Henderson networking guru explains in many of her books, workshops and presentations, networking is about the transference of trust. People like to work with people they know and trust.
While I built rapport and a good connection with the colleague of my colleague, the next layer can be more difficult. Now we're at the colleague of the colleague of the colleague. The trust and connection is weaker, the transference of trust is hanging on the recommendation of my original colleague and our ability to build rapport, understand each other's ways of working, seeing a way to possibility.
Confused? Don't be. Just continue to focus on building relationships with the people you know and trust. That circle or group of people closest to you. And they'll be more able to refer and recommend you to people they know and trust.
The next layer - the people who don't know who you are, who don't know the colleague of yours, may not be your best bet for business right now.
Keep focused on those closest. And let the ripples of connection flow from there, gently.