Map out the conversation

When you're heading off to a meeting today or tomorrow, take your notepad along, sure. Only this time, map out how the conversation goes.

Rather than jotting your own notes or actions, capture what the conversation is about. What are the key points? Where are the forks in the road? Where are the blocks or barriers? Where is the humour and lightness? You'll soon see so much more - and the person or group you're having the conversation with will too. 

Last week I met with a client about a customer engagement project. I mapped out our chat and before long, we had three phases, a series of key questions and some follow-up actions. I can recall greater detail of that meeting just by looking at my 'conversation map'. It's a few wavy lines, squares, circles and cloud shapes - just like the cloud shape in the left column of this newsletter. And there were words too. Make sure you've captured words!

Visual notes are engaging, powerful and effective. They serve as one of the greatest mental filing cabinets you have. Just looking at the notes from that conversation helps me recall detail. Here are the notes from my meeting - though they might mean even more if you'd been there. So next time we meet, I'll map out our conversation too. Pick up your pen and map out your next conversation with a client, customer, or colleague. It will stay stronger in your mental filing cabinet!

When you bring a team together this year...

Facilitating as a Leader

2012 is off and running - so in the important first few meetings, workshops or catch-up conversations you have this year, remember to make use of some of the super-skills of the facilitator to help you handle group dynamics and decision making.

Late in 2011, I designed and facilitated a one-day program on Facilitation Skills to help a client's team boost their management and people skills – particularly when handling projects and meetings.
 
Some of the most useful outcomes were related to getting group buy-in or input to decisions, generating ideas and ... most of all, getting out of discussion mode and into decision mode.

How much of a facilitating manager or leader are you? There are some great skills to learn. If you haven’t checked out the International Association of Facilitators free starter guide to facilitation – and how to have more productive meetings – this great PDF can be found here…
 
What to start doing
1. Check the expectations of everyone in the group or meeting as you start; why do they think they’re there?
2. Have an agenda – even a rough one that outlines how you’ll begin, how you’ll run the middle bit and how you’ll wrap things up.
3. Listen. Facilitators let people talk … and then they use a variety of techniques to help people summarise, wrap up or focus in on their point.
4. Go where there might be a bit of tension, rather than avoiding or running from it. Get it out there and it can be dealt with rather than hidden. Progress will be easier.
5. Use visuals (words + images) – either on a notepad, a flip chart or a whiteboard – to help the group or team ‘see’ where they’re at and where they're trying to get to.
 
Most of all, if you're getting the team together, be clear about why. Is it for information only, discussion, debate, decision making, strategising or brainstorming? They're all very different reasons and need different approaches to achieve great outcomes.

Referrals and Degrees of Separation

You know the now shrinking 'six degrees of separation' where you're only a few connections away from everyone on earth? How that applies to referrals and recommendations can be an interesting experience.

Recently a colleague referred me to a colleague who referred me to another colleague. Thanks to my colleague's recommendation, I started out on the conversation journey with the next two layers of colleagues!

The odds that this referral or transference of trust was going to work was lower than if

a. my colleague had worked directly with me on more than just a project or two ie; if we had a longer, deeper relationship

b. there were only one or two degrees of separation between me and the prospect - rather than this three or four levels.

The further removed the referral, the more weakened the trust, the more likely it's not going to be a match. A match on values, philosophy, ways of working...

For sure, connections and meeting up with people out of the blue can create some of the most wonderful and serendipitous relationships - business or otherwise.

But as Robyn Henderson networking guru explains in many of her books, workshops and presentations, networking is about the transference of trust. People like to work with people they know and trust.

While I built rapport and a good connection with the colleague of my colleague, the next layer can be more difficult. Now we're at the colleague of the colleague of the colleague. The trust and connection is weaker, the transference of trust is hanging on the recommendation of my original colleague and our ability to build rapport, understand each other's ways of working, seeing a way to possibility.

Confused? Don't be. Just continue to focus on building relationships with the people you know and trust. That circle or group of people closest to you. And they'll be more able to refer and recommend you to people they know and trust.

The next layer - the people who don't know who you are, who don't know the colleague of yours, may not be your best bet for business right now.

Keep focused on those closest. And let the ripples of connection flow from there, gently.

12 ways to boost engagement

People engaging in your message isn’t their responsibility... it’s yours!

Here are a dozen things to do even better.

1.In the eyes...
Establish and maintain eye contact with people. Break that eye contact so you’re not getting accused of stalking, but avoid the ‘fluttery-closed-eyelids’ thing while talking or the ‘looking-over-there’ while talking. Look at people when they’re speaking to you. Simple but not often done well.

2.Ask Questions
There’s too much telling (pushing people away) and not enough asking (engaging people) going on in meetings, conversations, consultations. 

3.Facilitate a team conversation
Rather than being part of the problem of clutter in a team meeting or conversation, step up and facilitate it. Confirm what the group’s trying to do, summarise what’s going on and where you’re all at, and then suggest some next steps.

4.Capture the conversation
Either on your note pad, ipad or flip chart pad, start catching some key points that people are sprouting in that meeting you’re in. Too many ‘and the essence is’ or ‘what I’m really saying is’ are lost and go way off up into the ether because they’re not captured anywhere. Write a few down and you’ll soon see where you agree, disagree and need to close the gap on thinking.

5.Ditch PowerPoint
Yep. Turn it off. Challenge yourself to truly engage with your audience, stakeholders or colleagues by using #6 below. I mean it. You’ll probably want to run back and hide behind your multi-page pack, but engage with people using dynamic, real time visuals. Keep PowerPoint packs for the hefty spreadsheets and detail, not the dot points.

6.Catch-it on a Flip Chart
Visual thinking works. Get yourself a good black chisel tipped marker (bullet tips are for babies) and step up to the flip chart or whiteboard and depict your key points. You won’t look like a fool; you’ll actually look more like you know what you’re saying. You’re displaying the clarity in your thinking by being able to summarise it up there.

7.Use visuals to explain
When you’re doing that flip charting and whiteboarding, use a few words and a few visuals. As Dan Roam says in his new book ‘Blah Blah Blah’, you need
visuals + verbals to get clarity. So a stick figure with the word ‘customers’ next to it is ace. A square with the words ‘regional office’ written in it is even better. Stay simple to boost engagement. Don’t be too smart; it’s not about the art.

8.Listen to yourself
Most mobile phones, portable devices and handhelds have a voice memo or recording option. Hit record during your next meeting or conversation for the purposes of listening to yourself, not others. Listen to what you sound like, what you said, how you said it, when you interrupted and the tone of your voice. Unless you shriek ‘Is that what I sound like?’, you’re not listening critically enough. How could you do this better?

9.Listen to others
You don’t need to record others in meetings (creepy, unethical perhaps!) but do listen to them. Won’t you? If you want to be truly engaging you’ll summarise back what they said. “So you’re saying is that right?”. Get rid of those disengaging phrases like ‘I hear what you’re saying …’ or ‘I’ll take that on board’. Yawn. ‘Go away’ is what you’re really saying.

10.Say ‘yes and…’
Take a tip from the best improvisers around the world and build on people’s
suggestions, ideas and contributions (by saying ‘yes and…’), rather than blocking them (when you say ‘yes, but…’). Listen out for the ‘clunk’ next time you ‘yes but’ someone in the head. ‘Yes and’ will grow the enthusiasm, energy and creativity.

11.Relaaaaaax your neck, shoulders and your jaw
There’s a fair bit of hunch-backing going on in the workplace. The tension, uncertainty and pressure is often reflected in furrowed brows and shrill voices. Relax your neck, shoulders and jaw. Drop your shoulders from way up near your ears (where they might be right now); have a breath and open your jaw and bite (while keeping your mouth closed). Check in on that one throughout the day. Those shoulders have a way of climbing back up to your ears again!

12.Put ‘em into practice
Print this, bookmark it, email it, copy it. You’ve read it now, during the lead up to the silly season. Have another read in the new year, in 2012 and note which ones you’ll do each day, each hour, each minute. You’ll be oh-so engaging!

Stop studying (for a moment) and start shipping

Yes, learning is great. Everyday, learn something new. Study new topics. Attend courses. Develop the mind.

But if you’re in your own business – or wanting your own business - will you just press the pause button on all of those courses for a moment, please?

Many a small business owner/operator doesn’t have the time or budget to get out the front door to anything – even if it is a free networking event held by the local Council! Others are financially committed and working ridiculous hours that the thought of showing up at a course – the possibility of having the time or money for a course – is foreign to them.

So if you’re yet to embark on the business, I have a message for the creative soul that you are, the person with the whole host of business ideas and the future visions that one day you hope will come to fruition.

They will and they can. And I’m not just playing motivator here.

They will happen but we need to press ‘pause’ on all of that development you may be doing, or have done.

In the past couple of weeks I’ve been coaching and mentoring some clients – wanting to get their business idea fired up – and I’m overwhelmed at their capabilities, their range of skills and their qualifications.

Yes, they can do it. Whatever their business idea is or their passion or interest, it is quite often reflected in their choice of courses and development. I’m convinced they are capable. But I’m wondering how many of these additional certificates, short courses, masters qualifications and other formal and informal studies are really necessary right now for getting their idea up and out there.

It’s a great distracter.

Why aren’t they putting their creative idea into practice? You know, registering a business name, registering a domain name, getting some business cards printed, getting their LinkedIn profile up to date and then getting in touch with the people they already know to meet with them and tell them about their business solution.

Instead of taking this vital ‘action’ and ‘shipping’ products (or services) as marketing guru Seth Godin puts it, they’re thinking they need even MORE qualifications, knowledge and know-how.

For some businesses, yes, you will need a qualification or an accreditation or a special selection of letters after your name to hang out your shingle.

But I’ve been pleased to recently meet these successful small business operators: the banker who is a graphic recorder, the physiotherapist who is a facilitator, the actor who is a trainer, the art lecturer who is a kitchen designer, the architect who is selling health products and many others who are just getting on with it. They’re putting their offer out there. They’re taking a risk. They’re risking failure. They’re risking success. And many of them are getting it. Success that is.

Stop studying for a moment will you? Please. In place of all of that study and learning, take some action, implement some of your ideas and ‘ship’ your stuff out the door. Your doubt will only grow, your fear will only multiply and your success will be that much further off if you keep thinking you need another batch of technical knowledge before you … ship it.