On expectations and standards

Expecting something to be different than it is? 
Wanting someone to reach higher standards? 
Expecting more of yourself? 

Expectations and standards are often invisible and internalized.

We notice when standards we have aren’t reached and people we work (and live) with may have little clue what our expectations and standards are ... until they’ve not reached them. 

Standards and expectations can be a tricky part of a perfectionist mindset. And we all have a little bit of perfectionist in us !

Our pursuit of more, better and higher can have no end. 

To make the perfectionist take a seat, declare and define what you’re actually going for and what you’re expecting. 

And if you’re a leader of a team, offer up your standards and expectations so people don’t have to guess, worry, overwork and lose sleep trying to deliver you the unreachable perfect. 

In 2019, I wrote the book ‘ish: The problem with our pursuit for perfection and the life changing practice of good enough’ - to help combat the ongoing rise in perfectionism the world over. 

Know what your good enough is and perfectionism won’t stand a chance. 

Owning the book doesn’t make it read

As better ways of doing things evolve, we have other ways to read books than actually holding printed paper in our hands, as glorious as it is! 

We can listen, read a summary abstract, talk about it in a club, on an app, or have someone read it to us. 

We can skim and scan and not even read the entire thing!

Oh, yes we can. 

Or do we think we have to read each book the ‘proper’ way ... word after word, cover to cover?

Some people give a book an hour (I prefer a day) to explore and get familiar with it. And then dive in further, for longer, if it’s a match. 

I have no guilt about books piling up, unread. It’s ‘Tsundoku’ in Japanese - acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up without reading them. 

Our pile o’books may signal what we hope or intend, but our action makes it so. Having the unread book on my shelf doesn’t give me the learning that’s in it. 

A book a week, a month or a year ... or 100+ books a year; whatever your appetite, satisfy it. 

Me? 
I go for a Spanish Tapas style:

Tasty morsels in small doses. Perhaps several in one sitting. Happy to return to my favorites. Some hard copy. Some digital. Some sound bites. 

Test it out sooner

Have an idea for a business, a hunch for a service or planning for a project?
We can find ourselves overthinking, overworrying and overwondering what our probability for success will be. 
Accelerating through the wonder and worry and getting to success is possible though. 

The way to do that is to test out the idea. And sooner than you think. 

Testing something may mean it’s not completely finished, yet. So, how could you test? 

▶️ Talk to your market about your idea and gather their responses. 
▶️ Create a rough version or prototype. 
▶️ Run a trial or pilot. 

Each of these are tests that give us way more insight than continuing to think, worry and wonder. 

Time is saved, our effort is reduced (in pursuing things that may not have the result we hoped for), and we get to validate with the people who matter. 

Yes it could be scary putting yourself and your ideas out there. But you’ll get invaluable feedback and then be able to tweak your offer. Continuing to wonder or to ask people who aren’t in your market is less effective. 

Are you willing to find out sooner, reduce wasted effort and get to a result sooner? 

Test sooner. 

It may not be pretty but it may just work

When we make up a solution, put together a near enough or good enough fix for something, it may not be pretty. And it may not be perfect.

For some of us who like our precision, accuracy, completeness and alignment, we might also prefer things to be ‘just so’, working well and of the highest quality. But in times when we are finding and needing hacks and short cuts to make things work, it’s worth allowing some leeway.

If we can allow things to be a bit clunky, imperfect, basic and rudimentary, it will relieve the pressure on those who are doing their best.

Human ingenuity is at work and while it’s clever, it might not have the highest fidelity on the first pass. Better will come over time. 

Where could you ease off

Where could you do less and it wouldn’t be noticed and wouldn’t matter?

In researching and writing the book ‘ish: The Problem with our Pursuit for Perfection and the Life-Changing Practice of Good Enough’, it's clear the problem with overworking is worse than ever.

We might work with someone who :

- Doesn’t let go

- Still has to finish ... something

- Keeps missing deadlines

- Needs to do more research, check more data.

Our workplaces must address this pursuit of perfection. It doesn't just apply at home or in the community. It’s rife in the workplace and often ignored, expected or justified.

So look at what you’re working on. Do you know what standard you’re going for or are you just continuing to 'go for perfect'?

If you stop, you will see that’s it’s likely already done well enough. Where could you ease off and people wouldn’t even notice? (This is not about neglecting standards where they're required. Settle down.)

It’s about the dramatic rise in the pursuit of perfection across age groups, sectors, cultures and countries. Notice it in yourself, your team, and keep an eye out for friends, family and the wider community.

Perfectionism is hurting us ... and we don't have to let it.