It’s not the same

No it’s not.

The experience of online isn’t the same as face to face.

Working remotely isn’t the same as working alongside others in the same location.

The pasta isn’t exactly like your favourite restaurant.

The marketing you’re doing isn’t the same as last time.

If things aren’t the same as we expected or hoped, we just need to adapt. We can adapt systems and processes, routines and rituals. And we can adapt expectations too.

Adaptations are happening all the time even if they are tiny micro adaptations. Even if we don’t really notice them.

And if we aren’t adapting? Perhaps we are resisting. Or waiting... waiting for the old to return so that things can be the same again... But it’s not the same. No it’s not. And here we go around again...knowing it’s not the same.

Thankfully, cleverly we are an adaptive species. We can keep adapting and we can keep helping and supporting those around us as they adapt too.

Weaving it together

As information flows and bounces around, back and forth between people in a team, how are you helping to weave it all together?

These interlacing and interconnected threads of data, opinions, ideas and decisions need to be brought together. Not everyone sees what is obvious and not everyone is able to make the connections of information that help us make progress.

A key role for leaders in times of uncertainty and change is to make sense of what the heck is going on. Taking seemingly disparate threads and finding links, relevance and connections among and between them is part of that role of leadership.

Don’t let it happen via hope. accident or default. Because it may not happen at all.

Things can become more confusing and ambiguous when you believe it will just weave itself. Take an active role to thread, weave and connect information ... even if you think it’s obvious.

It helps ease the stress and uncertainty people may be feeling as it relieves a weight from our mind ... and our shoulders.

Why the rush to simplicity

When things are messy, challenging or difficult, we can be impatient to make it all simple so we can tick it off and move on. It happens in meetings and workshops when the leader - meaning well, doing their best - takes what someone has said and simplifies it down to one big simple word.

The leader responds, ‘oh right, so what you’re talking about is < simple, big category word like productivity, strategy, collaboration>‘.

’No’, the person may say, that’s not quite what they were saying. Their contribution or explanation gets distilled so far ... pushed ahead to a single word, for the sake of simplicity.

But it could be too simple.

It’s like that exercise some people run in workshops: ‘What’s ONE WORD to describe today’s workshop/conference/meeting?’

Why the limit to one? One word may be easy, quick and controlling for you to put on people but it’s less effective for engagement, sensemaking and meaning making.

We may distill so far that the deeper (and intended) meaning vanishes, evaporates and is lost. Beware that by stripping things away to make it easier for you, may make contributions so vanilla... there’s no vanilla left.

Focused on the technology or the humanity

As we adapt to leading and working in some new and different ways, don’t lose sight that we are still leading and working with humans, people.

We might be learning new apps, systems and tools and discovering which button does what, or what the best features of the app are, but remember there are people there, wanting to connect and contribute.

Focus on the people. And allow time for it. Ask them questions. Seek their responses. Gain their participation and contribution. Validate their views and opinions.

Yes, the apps and tech may be new to us, and we may be distracted by these bright shiny objects, trying to learn them and be (perfectly) proficient with them. And yes, maybe we need the tech to help us do the task or job better ... you know, perfectly.

But the human connections you make with the other humans matter more than pursuing the perfect tech. Remember to ... Focus on the people. Look at their faces. Listen to their suggestions. Ask them more about their thoughts. See more of our humanity.

The more you talk, the less they can

The balance of participation in a meeting or workshop is curious to observe. The more you talk, the less they can contribute.

Have you asked a question? Did you acknowledge the response? Or did you just keep talking?

The space between when you stop talking ... and they start talking ... is known as ‘exchange time’. Is there an actual space there or are the usual voices picking up after each other? Can anyone break in to the conversation to add their comment?

I’ve been randomly measuring and observing exchange time in most of the online meetings and sessions I’ve been in over recent weeks - as both a session participant and a session leader.

When the topic engages and rapid comments come, exchange time shortens. It’s harder to add to the conversation. When two people are in conversation, exchange time can’t even be counted sometimes because the space is so thin. It’s impossible to find the gap. So it’s easier to just observe, to wait them out.

Disengagement and distraction are appealing. What do you deliberately do, to get the input and participation of people? Waiting for them to jump in is not a strategy.

Too often there is simply no space.