Why aren’t they responding

Online meetings can give us the vibe that people aren’t listening, are disengaged or don’t have much interest in what the meeting’s about. 

It’s a natural response, though. We can’t pick up on those micro cues of body language that we might pick up when we’re all in each other’s company!

But don’t let this deter you from designing and delivering highly engaging experiences online. 

If you’ve asked the team a question and you aren’t getting a response ...
wait longer. 

Maybe they’re still thinking. 
Give them time to respond. 
Give them time to prepare. 

Your rush for a response might not be a match for their need for thinking time. 

Some people think before talking. Some people talk before thinking. 

To support and include all sorts, ask and wait. 
Or ask and come back to it later. 
Or ask well before the meeting and hear from people in the meeting. 

And of course, it could be the question. 

Prepare beforehand and work out what questions you’ll ask. 

We can always ask a better question. 

More conversations - less presentations

As more of our meetings are online, there’s also an increase in the number of times we’re disappearing down a deep hole of ‘share screen’ and PowerPoint. 

Our meetings shouldn’t be all about the presentation, the monologue - just one or two voices. 

We can have better collaboration and co-creation online and remotely by having more conversation... the dialogue, many and all voices. 

This means we have discussion, debate and exploration of a topic and people’s perspectives of that topic. 

As we witness and experience disconnection and disengagement of people online, we’d do well to try for more conversation than presentation. 

But the pressure !!!
- what questions should we ask
- how do you get the conversation started
- how do you open things up
- and then what
- how do we summarize, synthesise or bring that information together
- what will keep it going
- and how do we wrap it up?


Each of these is a nuanced skill of facilitation - always balancing and rebalancing, conversation and making progress towards outcomes - ebbing and flowing. 

Instead of defaulting to sharing your screen, giving a presentation, try something new and default to conversation. 

Are you there with curiosity

Or did critique and complaint show up instead? 

There can be an easier, default response to be right ... by pointing out the wrong. 

But these times of extreme change and uncertainty require a greater openness of mind, a willingness to wonder and a greater sense of possibility. 

Our curiosity bias is there. We think, ponder and are curious about many, many things. 

How can we be curious about the things that might benefit from our curiosity? 


1. Do we bring curiosity to potentially boring meetings? 

Do we think:
“OMG this is so dull and boring; they are a hopeless leader.”

Or do we think:
“Hmmm, how could I help bring greater engagement or contribute to higher interest - for myself and others? What else is possible? What could I do here?”


2. Do we bring curiosity to a dense information pack?

Do we think:
“Ugh what waffle. Pages of it! They’ve missed the point. They’ve got no idea.”

Or do we think:
“Hmmm I wonder what the intention is? What’s the main point here? How can I best make sense of this?”


It may be easier to critique but the better, and more powerful work is in curiosity. 

Be there with curiosity. 

Move beyond the clichés

- Let’s take it offline 
- I hear what you’re saying
- Let’s car park it 
- I’ll take it on board

These meeting clichés can be said to dismiss, defer or redirect attention. 

We might be economical, to “keep things moving”, so we use clichés for convenience. 

But they’re overused, unoriginal and predictable. 

Clichés might be convenient for you but they’re not so good for genuine, human conversations and interactions. 

People zone out. It doesn’t connect. 


Why not say what a human would say to another human, in a normal conversation style. 

Speak originally and genuinely, leaving ‘cliché city’ behind! 

The distances between us call for greater humanity and originality.

In a world where connection with each other has been impacted, it’s worth us trying to communicate in more human ways ... not less. 

How do you plan to include people

It sucks to be forgotten, ignored, excluded or left out. So in a team or group meeting, how are you planning to include people? 

In meetings and workshops we may have presentations scheduled, information to share and decisions to be made. 

But how will you involve and include people in the session? 

Inclusion happens better when it’s by design. 

We know that people get excluded, overlooked and forgotten if we leave it to chance, or our bias and ego. 

Take that meeting agenda you’ve got and work out when and how you’ll deliberately include and involve people. 

Where can you :
- Ask people their thoughts and opinions
- Encourage them to share stories
- Invite comments, answers and suggestions
- Welcome questions, queries and insights 
...and more. 

Too many meetings have the ‘any other questions?’ footnote at the end as a way of involving people. 

But by then, it’s kind of too late. 

Start sooner. Right off the bat!

Create opportunities for involvement, participation, contribution and inclusion. 

It makes for stronger engagement ... as well as better outcomes.