Too much ‘listen only’ mode

Whether the online meeting software automatically tells you or not, too often we are put in ‘listen only mode’ in online meetings and workshops. 

And some of the reasons (excuses?) why there isn’t greater interaction : 
* too many people
* not enough time
* too much content
* the pressure of a deadline 

... and other explanations for why we’re keeping people quiet while meeting online. 

While many face-to-face meetings were poorly run, our online meetings are now just as bad. 

Better facilitation skills are needed by most leaders today, and more-so in this online environment. 

Better facilitation skills are about 
- The preparation 
- The design
- The delivery 
of the meeting or workshop. 

We have to do things a little differently and we must allow more time and space for people to contribute.

Listen only mode? 
That’s not how better work gets done these days. 

Toning it down or sparking it up

Are you holding on to your ideas, not launching or sharing them?

Fear can keep us contained and restricted. We have ideas but are worried about the impact of sharing them. 

So we withhold them and keep ourselves protected. 

But sometimes an idea we have keeps on coming back. It’s as if it won’t be pushed down or quietened. We believe it so strongly, it just won’t go away!

If you’ve got an idea that won’t go away, slide it out there into the world. 

The Spotlight Effect is at play : it’s the bias where we think people are paying more attention to us than they really are. 

That means even if we think ‘everyone’ will see our idea, they won’t. Many people are busy in their own world and often our stuff doesn’t initially reach as many people as we might fear ... or hope. 

The thing with sharing ideas is, it gets easier the more you do it. 

I used to be scared of sharing and expressing my ideas. Wouldn’t share them at all! And now, it’s daily - and more frequently if you include workshops, keynotes, mentoring and meetings. 

So are you toning things down? Or sparking it up and letting your ideas loose? 

Get sparking - I’d love to see your ideas out there!

Recommitting to a decision

A decision made once, may need to be remade each day. 

Or several times a day!

It’s almost as if we are making the decision over and over again, to recommit, refocus and remind ourselves of what we’re doing and why. 

We could expect that once we’ve decided, all will be good and the magic will just happen. 

It would be like signing up to a course but not doing any of the course work. As if deciding will magically give us all the results we’re looking for!

Nope.

We need to recommit and do the work that’s required. 

To do the reading, the exercises, watch the videos, participate in the discussions, work on the assessments ... to go through the experiences and get the skills and knowledge. 

If you’ve decided to do something recently, is there an opportunity to recommit to your decision? 

It can help us to embark on it again, to inspire us or to simply help us keep on making progress. 

On expectations and standards

Expecting something to be different than it is? 
Wanting someone to reach higher standards? 
Expecting more of yourself? 

Expectations and standards are often invisible and internalized.

We notice when standards we have aren’t reached and people we work (and live) with may have little clue what our expectations and standards are ... until they’ve not reached them. 

Standards and expectations can be a tricky part of a perfectionist mindset. And we all have a little bit of perfectionist in us !

Our pursuit of more, better and higher can have no end. 

To make the perfectionist take a seat, declare and define what you’re actually going for and what you’re expecting. 

And if you’re a leader of a team, offer up your standards and expectations so people don’t have to guess, worry, overwork and lose sleep trying to deliver you the unreachable perfect. 

In 2019, I wrote the book ‘ish: The problem with our pursuit for perfection and the life changing practice of good enough’ - to help combat the ongoing rise in perfectionism the world over. 

Know what your good enough is and perfectionism won’t stand a chance. 

Squeezing the most from learning

When we embark on a course or learning program, we can want to ‘soak it all up’ and learn ‘as much as we can’. 

We want to squeeze all we can from it. 

But learning ‘as much as we can’ puts pressure and expectations on the act of learning ... and on ourselves. 

If we’re trying to learn as much as we can, the problem is, there is no end to that. It could be limitless. 

You can keep learning, soaking and absorbing, but until we put some of it into practice, our mind will fill up to overflowing. 

This is cognitive overload. 
Over. Load. 

Instead of ‘learning as much as’, go for ‘learning enough to ...’. 

That’s 
- Enough to get started
- Enough to put something into practice
- Enough to try it out. 

Putting learning into practice sooner gives us feedback, insights, and ... opportunities for more learning. 

This is how to get better value from learning. 


Are you going for:

- as much as, quantity, an amount of learning? 

or 

- learning via experiments and practical applications?

It’s the second that will help with the adoption of newly found skills.