Better ways of being

As teams come together online more often, there are ways to ‘be’ that help make things easier. 

Whether your online meeting or gathering has just one other person, or there are four, seven or 12 of you...

Watch out for these old, dated behaviours:

Interrupter
Hogger
Judger
Dismisser 
Player
Disruptor 
Distractor
Minimizer
Deflector
... oooh it’s not good is it 
Hider
Denier
Accuser


When times are challenging, stress is high or uncertainty is present, it can be easy to fall back into a ‘survival default’ of sorts where there is pointing and blaming or hiding and ignoring for survival. 

Newer and better ways of being include doing things to support the group (and not always speeding to a solution or decision.)

We all contribute to an environment and a conversation that’s safer and more collaborative. 

If I’m challenged and find it hard to bring the ‘better me’, then I look to these roles. They’re helpful anyway, and keep us in a more resourceful state:

Synthesiser
Integrater
Summarizer
Slicer 
Supporter
Enquirer 
Listener 
Reflector
Participator
Contributor 
Validator 
Elevator.


Think: 
Am I making things easier or harder?
Am I trying to make myself feel better about something here?
Is this going to be helpful?

The cost of your time

There can be both waste and value in our time. 

▪️WASTE 
Oh the time we waste: indecision, uncertainty, waiting for change, for the right time or until we feel ready? 

What if all that time was added up and displayed on a huge digital clock, flashing in front of us?

We’d shudder at the hours and days wasted. 


▪️VALUE
What results might be possible if we do a little each day? What if we spent 5 or 15 minutes? How would that also tally up and accumulate day after day?

It’s only a little bit of time, but each day it’s contributing to your goal or plan. 


If you’re tallying up waste, looking back on what you haven’t done, it’s not that helpful a space ... to berate, shame or criticize ourselves. 

Instead, do a little: everyday or several times a week.

▪️Writing a book: write 100 words
▪️Leading change: communicate each day
▪️Launching a business: do a small part each day
▪️Creating your own IP: collect an idea a day. 


The goal or dream is not a disaster if you didn’t achieve it all in one sitting. 

If you’d started 4 months ago, wow just imagine! 
Or 4 weeks ago, or 4 days ago. 
Or today!

There is massive value in our accumulated efforts - even when we don’t see the returns immediately.

Renegotiating expectations

When you’re working on a task, all the way through it ... right to the end, you can change your mind, anytime. 

We are allowed to renegotiate expectations, particularly the expectations we hold for ourselves. 

When I was researching the topic of perfectionism for my book “ish”, I learned about the different types of perfectionism we humans experience. 

One sort of perfectionism is about the standards we hold for ourselves, as we push on and on trying to reach an elusive perfect. 

These expectations may be invisible to others yet there they are, a standard we are constantly measuring ourselves against. 

The good news is, we can change these expectations. 

And it need not take long. We can do it almost instantly ... immediately!

We just need to ease some of the pressure we put on ourselves. 

Then our focus can go to the progress made, the achievements and the step by step we take, rather than how we’ve not met our expectations. 

You can release a pressure and expectation you hold for yourself. 

And this can become a healthy, helpful habit in the care of our selves. 

Fresh skills we want to learn

How does a team adapt in an environment of change like the world is experiencing now? 

What skills do leaders need to better lead in these times?

Remote work, extreme uncertainty and ongoing complex change are impacting so many sectors and organisations. 

Old learning topics like body language, negotiation skills and time management are being overtaken by more contemporary, practical and inspiring skills. 

These skills are more related to today’s workplace and aligned to the capabilities people need to be able to work better together. 

Plus they’re the kinds of skills people want to learn!

They are: 
Ingenuity 
Empathy
Creativity 
Curiosity 

Facilitation 
Visualization 
Experimentation 
Improvisation 

Sensemaking
Listening
Learning
Collaborating.


These kinds of skills help us stay relevant and motivated in the learning ... as well as the daily application. 

How creative could you be

Too many boring and dull online meetings, right?

How do we make things more interesting? And are we waiting for someone else to do the ‘be more creative’ thing?

There’s a personal scale of creativity - things that I think are creative and engaging, you may not. And vice versa. 

With that in mind, we can design and lead a number of creative exercises or activities that work in online meetings. 

Things like:
- Starter or kick off activities 
- Short icebreakers
- Introduction questions
- Quick energizers 
- Focus exercises to bring us back on topic 
- Get to know you activities 
- Idea generation exercises 
- Wrap up and summary tasks.  

None of them have to be long and drawn out. Some people wrongly think we don’t have time to bring more creativity to online meetings.

Even short bursts of a different activity can lift a mood, boost interest and attention or change the level of engagement. 

Times are tough anyway. We don’t need to make the mood worse with dull and drawn out online meetings!

It’s worth a little more effort to make the hours we spend online more interesting and more effective. 

We can all make a creative contribution here, whether leading the activity ... or participating in it.